I was having a conversation with some clients about how people these days are yearning to be seen. I don’t mean being looked at, or even spoken to, but really seen. When is the last time you really felt SEEN?
When someone could say I SEE YOU, and you truly believe it without feeling judged or insecure – but safe.
When you ask someone how their day is, do you really want to know? Or are you being polite so you can move on to the next thing on your list? If you’re a coach, are you greeting your members by name and really asking them how their day is going – or are you saying “Hey man!” to everyone that walks in?
I’ve done it too. More times than I’d like to admit.
Going through Pregnancy and Postpartum Athleticism 2.0 and Antony Lo’s The Female Athlete Course specifically has shown me that seeing people, really seeing people, can have an impact you can’t even imagine. I’ve always known coaching is more than just sets and reps, especially with CrossFit. We have Community at our core, but I hadn’t realized the depth to which it matters. How much you can really affect someone’s life, both positively or negatively. I’m working on slowing down, talking less and listening more. Seeing more. Connecting more. The world needs this so badly.
Antony himself gave this to me when I met him in New York. He worked with me individually and I noticed straight from the start he asked me questions, reiterated my responses, and truly wanted to connect. He let me talk, even if I went what I thought to be off topic he listened. It’s all part of the puzzle. He made me feel SEEN, and that was invaluable. Yes, he showed me I can do GHD sit-ups, but more than that he made me feel seen and validated. He showed me I’m not broken…which is a story I have been carrying for years now. It brought tears to my eyes and I’m pretty sure he was holding some back as well. I want to give that feeling to every single one of my clients, and the people in my life.
Social media and the internet is an amazing tool that allows me to work with people literally all over the world, but it’s also left so many people feeling isolated and yearning to be seen. Something that was supposed to connect us has created an incredible amount of disconnection. Everywhere you go you see people on their phones, yet are surrounded by people. The internet is a tool, and depending on how you use it can be an amazing thing or a distraction to those right in front of us.
A client of mine is having some health issues unrelated to fitness, aside from modifications to move without symptoms. During her session a couple of weeks ago I simply asked her, how are you? And I listened. Really listened even though she talked for the first 20 mins of our 1-hour session. She spoke of her health issues and how she feels the Drs aren’t really helping. The process is so long and has many seemingly unrelated requirements. When she was done.. she thanked me for being the only one to let her just talk it out. That she felt better, she felt heard and validated. All I did was listen. I didn’t offer advice or try to help, or pretend to understand bc I don’t. But she felt seen. It felt amazing to be able to give that.
As an update on my client, she had gone to the hospital one night last week in pain and has since learned that she has two sizable tumors on her liver that are indeed cancerous. I do not know what the next steps for her are yet, but if you could send prayers, good vibes, thoughts, whatever you believe in and practice her way I would be so appreciative.
I’m going to do better. Are you?
Stay strong, stay beautiful,